CONNECT. Smooth 98.1 fm



Today is Thursday and i try to keep it real for families on Thursdays. I have said before on the show that i am very clear about the fact that Tiwa and i don’t have the best marriage in the world. And i doubt if we will ever have that. What we do have and can always have is one of the marriages in the world enjoying the best investment of hard work in patience, understanding, forgiveness and growth. I believe that in marriage, the decision and resolve to stay together against all odds is as important as commitment to enjoying the essence of marriage. I do have a vision for my marriage and my family, yet i am not 100% clear about all that is before me. While i am not totally sure of all i will experience as we journey on, i am 100% sure of what i will not and must not experience. I tell people that even if you don’t know what you want out of something or out of a relationship, you should at least know what you don’t want. And it seems to me that every time you remove what you don’t want from what is available, what you want must be what is left. We can all work from there. I don’t know all that i want for my marriage 100%, but i know all that i do not want 100%. I don’t want a divorce or even a separation. That’s for sure. And against all odds, i am ready to invest every effort necessary to keep my home together. It is a duty i owe my manhood, my essence, my conscience, my children and my God. May God help me, and may He help as many as will make a resolve as strong, demanding and noble as this.

Please don’t get me wrong, i am not afraid of a divorce and i am not a slave of the idea of separation. No! But i have a point to prove to myself that if i of my own volition made a decision to commit to something, someone or some people, and if i did that without compulsion and not under duress, i also owe it to myself to see it through. Also, i believe if i fail there, it will cast some level of aspersion on my capacity to deliver value consistently anywhere else. I also owe it to my children to ensure they always have a dad and a mom next to their room every time. Keeping the marriage together will guarantee that. Children did not apply to come to this world. Adults felt they were responsible enough to bring them. How will you feel if someone convinced you to leave the best paying job in the world, and convinced you to relocate from the country you are, say America, and join his own company in another country, say Nigeria. You got to Nigeria, started the job, you never see him regularly, always too busy, the management of the company is always fighting and always at loggerheads, and he doesn’t even pay you. How will you feel? I’ll tell you how you will feel, you will feel totally disappointed. Totally! That’s how children feel when adults bring them to a world they didn’t apply to visit; and the adults, for whatever reason, are not able to take responsibility for the emotional, physical and spiritual welfare of the children. My wife has also trusted me with her destiny with the simple decision to live the rest of her life with me. As an imperfect man, it is my prerogative to know that i have proposed to an imperfect woman, and it will be unfair to judge her best efforts by her imperfections. Maybe if she was all perfect, she’ll not have married me. To love her is therefore sacred.

As man, i will not always do well in this regard, but i have committed myself to the question of how i can do better. I will always invest the effort to work to do better regardless of the prevailing situation. I also know that society is as strong as the sanctity of the marriage and family institution. I know that when marriages work and families are strong, we strengthen the socio-economic and political fabric of the nation. The family is a nation-building institution. It is part of my duty and service of my nation to contribute my quota to the future by ensuring that at least, the children of my own loins grow up to add the kind of value society can be grateful for. Then, to love my wife, to inspire my kids and to serve my family is gratitude to God who has given me the privilege to create a part of a blessed and beautiful the future through my family. In the best marriage, pain and disappointments do exist, but a resolve must also exist that no matter how demanding it is, i will also focus more on the parts of it that bring joy, meaning and fulfilment.

See, the wisdom in human exchange is to understand that all relationships require work. Those who forget this are those who settle for war and divorce. But in the human exchange of marriage, top on the list of work is knowledge, patience, magnanimity, selflessness and sacrifice. Again, those who forget this are those who settle for war and divorce. Peace has a price. And prejudice has a cost. But those who must see and experience value must know that harmony and cohesion does not just occur. They don’t just materialize. They aren’t built on a foundation of convenience either.  They take time and patience and two people who are willing to put in the effort must first of all exist.

Next Thursday, i’ll share the nine things i believe your marriage and your family needs from you. Victory is personal, and once your part is played, you have the right to expect the energy of life to reorganize situations and circumstances to begin to work in the direction of your dominant expectations. It’s nature. It’s the design of life, and it works. For me, these nine things are debts that you owe. And to end the show today, i want you to know that after over a decade of marriage, my best lessons are that God is faithful, love is a choice, peace is always within reach and marriage is science. I hope i’ve helped a bit. I wish you well. I wish your marriage well. And please relax and calm down, your family will not fail. This is SMOOTHLIFE with OLAKUNLE SORIYAN reaching you from SMOOTH 98.1. I’ll share the nine things next week. You cannot miss next Thursday’s show, same time, 7am, same station. And i know you will not miss tomorrow’s show as well, same time, same station.


Posted on July 11, 2013, in QUOTES. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. PK, thanks for those words. God strengthen you more sir.

  2. Uplifting and enlightening

  3. Onduru Stanley

    I wish most couples understood some of the ideas communicated through this material. We would have fewer cases of divorce or separation.

  4. Mr Ola, you have done so much that I always pray to Gud that He continue to increase your wisdom that you use judiciously to affect people’s life especially Nigerians. Keep the good work going, please don’t give up for God must surely bless you in Jesus name Amen. Kudos.

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