Where we got it ALL WRONG: Shouldn’t a MAN help his WIFE at home?
It is with due respect and reverence for the morals and wisdom of our traditional heritage that we seek to challenge our perceptions of gender roles. No playing to the gallery! We are questioning some age long assumptions about the role a man and a woman should play in the family. Because that’s the way it’s done does not mean that is how it should be. Norms must never be confused with ideals.
In the past, a typical Nigerian society is structured along the lines of a working father who is out there working to ensure the needs of the family are met and a stay-at-home mum who ensures the kids are well taken care of and groomed for life. The man is proud in his kingly role as a bread winner and the woman’s pride is in her ability to successfully manage the home.
The premise of our persuasion today is that the social structure and organization of our contemporary times has placed new demands and challenges, so expectations and the roles men and women play in families need to be re-addressed. We seek a redress with the understanding that well-worn clothes are very familiar and tough to discard. When seasons change, demands change, people change and tradition must change.
In today’s world, a woman who stays at home idle will be considered a lazy woman. The average woman of today invests as much time as the man in the marketplace. What is an anomaly however is that both, after going through the stress of work face unequal roles in managing the home. The traditional male psyche tells the man to sit down like a couch potato and engross himself with the dailies and cnn while the wife sweats endlessly after work to prepare meals and take care of the kids. His esteemed self will then later demand for sex to ease the pressure of the day. What nonsense!
This is not a true reflection of manhood. It’s unfair, insensitive or even wicked. The society-wide opinion that considers it a
sacrilege for the man to share domestic responsibilities is grossly misinformed.
With the level of education and skill of today’s urbanized woman, it is totally out of place to insinuate that women should be restricted to maternal and domestic roles while the man sits comfortably like a king and pretending that the woman doesn’t contribute income-wise to the household. Hmm! Hilarious!
Men accept the thinking that the woman should share in revenue generation but do not accept their own share of domestic responsibilities. Since they both pay the piper, they should both dictate the tune in order to be fair. Our ancestors have acted on the information made available to them and not on truth. We must pardon their ignorance and refuse to allow it perpetuate.
A sign of love between a couple is mutual submission, love and service. Love is other-focused and will alleviate another’s suffering or distress. This is the point: nothing stops a man from doing the dishes, going to the market or even making a delicacy. Friends, please no stones at this. It takes a bigger man, however to look beyond the limits of what society defines, and stretch to the limit of what his own legacy must define. Please do not subscribe to the opinions of mockers and those steeped in tradition.
As a man,your greatest responsibility after God is to your family. No man serves his family better than loving his wife. Loving a woman is not in the abundance of sweet nothings alone but an attitude willing to serve and help her with domestic responsibilities.
When you do this habitually, she will feel like a queen and she will reward you with the happiness you deserve. This is the life!