Where we got it ALL WRONG: Shouldn’t a MAN help his WIFE at home?

Marriage success

The man should help his wife on domestic tasks

It is with due respect and reverence for the morals and wisdom of our traditional heritage that we seek to challenge our perceptions of gender roles. No playing to the gallery! We are questioning some age long assumptions about the role a man and a woman should play in the family. Because that’s the way it’s done does not mean that is how it should be. Norms must never be confused with ideals.

In the past, a typical Nigerian society is structured along the lines of a working father who is out there working to ensure the needs of the family are met and a stay-at-home mum who ensures the kids are well taken care of and groomed for life. The man is proud in his kingly role as a bread winner and the woman’s pride is in her ability to successfully manage the home.

The premise of our persuasion today is that the social structure and organization of our contemporary times has placed new demands and challenges, so expectations and the roles men and women play in families need to be re-addressed. We seek a redress with the understanding that well-worn clothes are very familiar and tough to discard. When seasons change, demands change, people change and tradition must change.
In today’s world, a woman who stays at home idle will be considered a lazy woman. The average woman of today invests as much time as the man in the marketplace. What is an anomaly however is that both, after going through the stress of work face unequal roles in managing the home. The traditional male psyche tells the man to sit down like a couch potato and engross himself with the dailies and cnn while the wife sweats endlessly after work to prepare meals and take care of the kids. His esteemed self will then later demand for sex to ease the pressure of the day. What nonsense!

This is not a true reflection of manhood. It’s unfair, insensitive or even wicked. The society-wide opinion that considers it a

sacrilege for the man to share domestic responsibilities is grossly misinformed.

With the level of education and skill of today’s urbanized woman, it is totally out of place to insinuate that women should be restricted to maternal and domestic roles while the man sits comfortably like a king and pretending that the woman doesn’t contribute income-wise to the household. Hmm! Hilarious!

Men accept the thinking that the woman should share in revenue generation but do not accept their own  share of domestic responsibilities. Since they both pay the piper, they should both dictate the tune in order to be fair. Our ancestors have acted on the information made available to them and not on truth. We must pardon their ignorance and refuse to allow it perpetuate.

A sign of love between a couple is mutual submission, love and service. Love is other-focused and will alleviate another’s suffering or distress. This is the point: nothing stops a man from doing the dishes, going to the market or even making a delicacy. Friends, please no stones at this. It takes a bigger man, however to look beyond the limits of what society defines, and stretch to the limit of what his own legacy must define. Please do not subscribe to the opinions of mockers and those steeped in tradition.

As a man,your greatest responsibility after God is to your family. No man serves his family better than loving his wife. Loving a woman is not in the abundance of sweet nothings alone but an attitude willing to serve and help her with domestic responsibilities.

When you do this habitually, she will feel like a queen and she will reward you with the happiness you deserve. This is the life!

Posted on November 14, 2013, in Smooth-Life*Clinic* and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Hmmmm…. This is an uncommon thought! Personally,I have been working on myself towards this. However, I must submit that it is going to take a while, and I mean a long while, to de-programme most of these information that has kept us (men) bound, especially for the fact that we see these traditions and norms happen everyday in our immediate families and beyound. We have no choice, we must change with the changing times!

  2. This is indeed the real Life!

  3. Very good write up Kunle. I love it. Keep it up

  4. Mr. Soriyan, I absolutely love this! Most men don’t believe women get tired too *rolling my eyes*. I have noticed that couples that share everything, including domestic chores tend to be closer and have better marriages than their counterparts who don’t. Many women are scared to bring up this issue for fear of being accused of disrespect; many of them walk around with resentment against their husbands that they can’t voice out. Women, you are not created to die beneath the burden of keeping everything together alone. In marriage, both men and women should be helpers of one another.

  5. Good evening bros. I listen to you program daily.however , I am always on the road most times therefore I don’t really get the msg at times. Please how can I download the day’s message for personal meditation? Thanks and God bless.keep the flag flying

  6. THANK YOU FOR THIS MESSAGE! For me, i so much believe in this, and no one can change my regards for this when i married [i pray]. thank u for reminding our spirit – God bless you!

  7. i enjoy your programme on smooth 98.1FM.Please do keep it up.

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