How MASTERING PEOPLE and THINGS determine your SUCCESS
I want to give us another perspective to daily living from lessons I have learnt from failure. I have come to categorize our daily experiences into what I call – the Shell Of The Day and the Event Of The Day.
The Shells are the many parts of the day that defines a day generally (morning, afternoon evening), the mundane, the ordinary, natural course of events. The Events on the other hand are built around the premium we place on people and things we come in contact with (the shells) and the awareness we bring into that exchange that allows us to differentiate between what is safe or unsafe, normal or abnormal, mundane or special, urgent or important. In short it is the meaning we give to our interaction with people and things.
My observation is that people pursue or weave their lives predominantly around the shells (the ordinary things of life) instead of the event(the meaning to be derived from people and things).
People and things are themselves part of the shell except when they are meaningfully engaged. For instance, the internet is a thing and its availability is a shell. It is the use to which we put the internet e.g. work, productivity, learning, fun that creates an event. Your boss without being engaged is a tool in the shell whose presence is mundane as a table. Engagement with him to drive work results, achieve organizational goals and meaningfull professional relationship is what creates an event.
To bring it home, the fact that we are human beings is a shell. How we engage our humanity creates the experiences that form the event of our lives, which goes on to be the critical determinant of our unique destinies.
I have learnt the hard way, having taken for granted or too seriously the critical moment of my life in relating with people and things. My hard lessons brought me to the realization that the quality of my life now is a result of how I have engaged this reality of people and things in my past and how I am engaging it in my present.
Every action we take in life to engage people or things never leave us the same. At every point in time, we can categorize our interactions into those capable of destroying us or those capable of lifting us up. This is the secret to mastery or the lack of it in a life.
All our desires, expectations, plans, goals, dreams or even experiences of marriage, work, of interactions in our community or religious circles are all sensitive to the two categories described above: those capable of lifting or destroying us.
The call of judgement is to place your interactions with people and things into these two categories.
Just for the records, idle actions(actions without impact whether positive or negative) don’t exist. All actions whether consciously or unconsciously are a rehearsal for mastery. Every action you take is adding up to the formation of a new picture in your life. The actions of yesterday created the present picture (current realities) in your life.
The deeper truth is that interactions that will lift us do not come readily or apparently with an awareness of their lifting capacity neither do the destroyers come pre-loaded with an awareness of their destructive potential.
You must audit and put your existing relationships in perspective. You need to know that people in your life right now are different from the people you are yet to meet. They will fit into either of these two categories:
1. There are people you pull close into your life that frustrate the helpers of your life and in the process allow loss and destruction to thrive.
2. Also there is another set of people who you don’t take too seriously, yet they have the capacity to create positive energy and rhythm in your life.
It is for you to discern, judge and interpret the credibility of the contacts you currently have and those you will soon experience. To do this effectively, you need to ensure you are living with the right values, that you are sustaining your life by a high code that defines the credibility of your existence, a code that is noble and adequate to effectively judge and interpret people and things legitimately, decently, morally and soundly.
For emphasis’ sake, a foundation of right principles and methods of engagement is very important. No one can judge or interpret beyond his or her own levels of awareness or understanding. In addition, mentoring and coaching will also be important in the credibility of your judgement.