PAUSE and PONDER:Are you really FIT to be a PARENT?
I want to shed more light on my earlier post-Which do you care about-The IDEALS of a FAMILY or the TOOLS that create it? In it, I mentioned that the tools that create a family (sex, weddings) are different and less important, compared to the ideals that sustain the family. I also mentioned the need to ensure that adults entering into marriage are able to deploy the necessary quality of thinking (philosophy or concept of marriage), discipline and morality.
While this might sound bizarre,shocking or aggressive, call it whatever you want, I desire that government will create some critical standards for people desiring to marry to meet before they can be issued a marriage certificate.
I’m sure a part of you is saying – Really? But please bear with me while I explain the rationale behind this.
I believe the law should regulate this wild desire to start a family without the required mental, financial and emotional resources. Now, this opinion can’t get more absurd to some – WE ALL DON’T HAVE TO BE PARENTS. If and when we choose to become parents, responsibility demands that we make all the necessary sacrifice to protect the life of an innocent child who didn’t apply to visit the world.
Have you watched some animals to see how seriously they take parenting? If some animals can take responsibility, it then becomes an abuse of our essence if as humans, we don’t live up to expectation in parenting. If evolution claims we are higher animals, it also indirectly spells that we raise offspring by higher standards.
Parenting is RESPONSIBILITY. It is our noble duty to raise children, to support them by taking an active part in guiding them on the way to becoming mature adults for the fulfillment of their unique destiny. Parenting means embracing the task of teaching children to think along principles, embrace discipline and find meaning in living by a strong moral code.
Enough! Of parents who lack the traits to oversee the development of their children into responsible adulthood. I say this to advocate for the abandoned children who have ended up as victims of child abuse, molestation, child pornography, teenage pregnancy and prostitution. UNICEF estimates that nearly one million children enter the sex trade every year. Experts say that nearly 10 million children are working as prostitutes, with 90% of them being girls. Do you think such children came out of deep-thinking, loving and responsible parents?
In Nigeria, children are deployed as beggars to appeal to the sympathy of passers-by. In Somalia or Congo, they are armed with weapons and thrust into the horrors of war to either kill or be killed.
Still, there is yet another category of sincere but ignorant parents who provide plush mansions for their children to live in and send them to elite schools. They provide all things except the most important of all – parental care and attention.
See, because the bar of entry for bearing children and entering into marriage is low, a lot of half-baked people lacking character can now start a family with gaily indifference. Since it is now considered a status symbol rather than a noble call to responsibility, no superior value is attached to bringing forth a child outside of societal expectation from the couple. Even children are now being used as emotional weapons by women to secure the commitment of suitors. That is how ridiculous and unabashed we have become.
My advocacy is this – adults should be barred from marriage or parenting until we have secured a good knowledge of the emotional, mental, financial and even spiritual preparedness of the intending couples.
Even now, government must legislate some kind of law that assures thorough preparation in thinking, discipline and morality before people can enter into marriage. The law should also assess resource management and emotional intelligence.
It can begin with Nigeria even if it’s not done elsewhere. We can no longer assume that bearing children will automatically make a man or woman responsible. They must prove their maturity. THIS IS THE LIFE!