Lessons from Failure: Watch and Avoid the Sorrow of an UNCONSCIOUS LOSS!
Of all the lessons I have learnt from my failure, nothing rivals the impact of the ‘unconscious loss’ in my mind. It is such a terrible state to be in. It is terrible because it is imperceptible, barely felt or accurately appraised.
What characterizes a state of ‘unconscious Loss?’ It is a human state of existing on a wrong path or in a wrong position of life and not knowing you are there. It is a vicious state of mediocrity, passivity, complacency, weakness, lack-luster performance, smugness, vanity, narcissism, self-absorption, egotism, selfishness. Simply stated, it is a spiritless existence.
What grieves me is what I know to be the end, the disaster and shame such a life will permit, manage, promote, recycle and transfer to the next generation. It is a precarious situation because the damage is colossal and never truly estimated until death. Can I ask what your benchmark is? Are you measuring yourself against what you could have done or simply what you have been able to do? Life is never only about what you achieve but also about what you could have achieved. What I often wonder is whether people are conscious of this gap especially in their daily lives and whether they are mentally engaging themselves to develop and deploy the skills that will salvage a meaningless daily existence.
For those who recognize this gap, they will do well to make the necessary efforts towards change, be willing to make mistakes and understand that it might be the path to the quality of life they seek. However, what is sad is that a majority live counter to course correction. They often prefer to fully explore the wrong path they know its leading nowhere. I say this because I have been there. How long individuals remain in this state will be a function of their drive to learn and improve their lives.
What I am advocating is that people everywhere must recognize their own incompetence and the value of a new skill or way of thinking that will move them onto their next stage. Failure to do this is a disservice to the achievement of their full potential. This is because the impact of the unconscious loss cannot be measured. It will escape even the most thorough scrutiny. It is an imperceptible or intangible experience and its intangibility doesn’t excuse its lethal status instead it defines its viciousness and threats. You are never able to estimate what could have been if you had done things differently. This loss is characterized by missed opportunities, unutilized potential, misplaced priorities, wrong commitments, underutilized resources, lost fervency and zeal, mismanaged lives and loss of time.
The best way I can capture this is when someone contracts HIV/AIDS through sexual intercourse. When it happens, no alarm is triggered, no pain is felt and life will continue but never the same again. If undetected for long, he becomes a death bomb waiting for the firing squad that will slay the last vestige of his immune system.
However, we can salvage this loss by making a decision to start living an intentional, purposeful, impactful and useful life. Often the wisdom of others especially mentors, coaches will be needed to help discern and avoid such losses through due assessments that comes from accountability. Also important is a personal commitment to meditation, reminiscing and revaluation which will be highly relevant to discern the propensity for loss before it is experienced.
It is imperative to recognize that one of the most active weapons we possess as people for growth and advancement is the ability to acknowledge and correct our errors. To lose something and to be conscious it was lost is a misfortune but the greatest disaster comes from losing something and not being conscious it was lost let alone being able to measure the impact of the loss.
What I lose and I didn’t know will not hurt me in the conscious realm but it will hurt my subconscious. Its impact might not be known in my reality but in the compromise of the quality and value of the end my life could have experienced. Truly, only eternity can judge this. I challenge you to arrest the ‘unconscious loss’. ‘We still can determine today the content of the future through the responsibility we accept in the present using humility, candour and courage’. This is the Life!