Honest Self-Evaluation: Cure for a Dual Personality
The words of Dr Erwin W Lutzer will forever ring in my heads and occupy a strong place in my heart. He said, “We all are naïve and dishonest if we do not take into account the obvious fact that even in so called good people, the potential for evil on a grand scale lies dormant. That man is a mystery. That why is it that we as members of the human race who have such great capacities for achievement in arts, science and compassionate sacrifice have within us the seeds of greed, hatred, egomania and destruction? Greatness and misery is the story of the human race.”
A typical example is Picasso. Though an art genius of staggering proportion, he had a stormy private life. Worse, he abused those around him. His first wife went insane, his mistress hanged herself, his second mistress suffered a nervous breakdown and his second wife shot herself to death. A student of his life wrote, “This man with irresistible charm, manipulative self-promotion and shocking cruelty changed the lives of every person he met.”
There seems to be a dual personality in man – a tendency to see the evil in others but only pay attention to the good in our selves. It is blindness to one’s fault and incapacity for honest self appraisal. The refusal or failure to allow honest self evaluation has destroyed untold lives.
Wrong judgement and actions do not really create failure. All men fall and all men make great mistakes. The difference in people is rarely their experiences in failure but their inability to tell themselves the greatest truth and to take responsibility for it. If a man falls and acknowledges it, a process of restoration starts and the power and energy of the universe, as designed by God the creator, gravitates towards a meek and repentant soul that has acknowledge his errors and is ready for the new requirement for moving forward and to pay the price. This is the way lost opportunities are regained.
Take this test. Ask three to four people who know you well how they view the process of making and expressing your decisions and opinions. If all of them tell you they see you as someone who so pushes for her views so much, that you are never wrong and you are always right. This might be proof that you actually don’t engage in honest self evaluation. At best such people improve their knowledge but never improve their attitude and character. What a loss to them!
Avoid this blind prejudice that blinds you to your own faults. It affected me and led me to cultism, drugs and other vices and some consequences I’m still recovering from. Did I hear you say it can’t happen to me? That is naivety to say so. Please note that caution is the language of life and alertness is the price of order and equilibrium. Please audit before you express your highest confidence. Be sure of your position before you seek to influence others.
Let’s face it. We all have the potential for great evil except for the restraints of expectations from friends, the laws of the land and most important the grace of God. The greatest things to fear are not without but within us, our own evil propensities. The idea of falling is not what I dread but the pride of getting up with the kind of lesson that will guarantee I will never again fall in that spot again.
I have made mistakes, I’m making mistakes and I suspect I will still continue to make mistakes. But I pray for wisdom, understanding and display of the character that ensures I never make the same mistake after the lesson is learnt. I always pray not to make the kind of mistakes that evaporates chances of recovery. Equally, I still pray for the sincerity and courage to allow my inner truth to empower me in every mistake and to lead me to my new strength.
We owe it to ourselves regardless of the situation, not to allow our emotions and ego to override our sense of mission, thoroughness, equity and justice. My many experience of falling and rising to great strength has shown me that it takes only a few minutes for any of us to destroy our reputation, ruin his or her marriage and cause his or her friends to lose their total respect for him or her.
Here helplessness can be good if it happens in the face of good, strong in the face of evil and totally self-abandoned in the hands of its creator. I call that HEROIC HELPLESSNESS. To think you are above this is ignorance and this is why good people do very bad things. Take it to mind.