Shocking REALITY: When GIVING UP makes SENSE

There is a time to GIVE UP!

There is a time to GIVE UP!

I am sure you have heard the cliché “Never Give up” from some motivational speakers or self-help charlatans seeking to rouse dissatisfied people into emotional frenzy so they can change and overcome their discouragement. As good as the ‘Never Give up’ platitude sounds, to all intent and purposes, it is not always a valid proposition in solving people’s despairs. Giving up is just what some people need to hear.

Amidst the plethora of self-help books teaching success tips, the counsel never give up is not rare. While its commonality doesn’t undermine its validity and profundity, we need to know just when it works and when it doesn’t. Looking back over my life, I have seen specific cases where persistence bailed me out to weather the storms and emerge on the shores of victory. I have also known moments of holding to visions whose time was obviously long gone and in the process tagging along losses.

There is a time when giving up is the route to take. I even think it’s a skill to know when to give up and when to hold on and it’s a rare one for that matter. Ask successful people, and they will tell you stories of tenacity along with decent stories of giving up on ideas, projects, investments, relationships or other things worth keeping but not effective for their purpose in the long run.

I have counselled people tenaciously holding on to dreams with no potential to be fulfilled, whose only noble option was to give up. I have counselled couple in courtship who found it so hard getting along but holding on because the dictum says never give up. So they hold on to what they should have let go of, only to give up at a more critical time with unwarranted losses of time, energy and emotional pain. Some don’t even give up until they have become an addition to the divorce statistics.

When you are a visionary with a world conquering idea, who must start and succeed now, then do not give up. But be careful of chasing a vision you have no capacity to execute and this advice comes handy for young entrepreneurs. Don’t toil fruitlessly in barren directions for a big break that never comes. When you have discerned yourself to be on that road, you need to turn back.

The don’t-give-up skill is not more important than the give-up skill. Both will be needed at different times and at different cross-roads in life. Don’t hold on to something that has no capacity to expand or grow. You must recognize it and disconnect from it.

Another case is when a vision is noble but has a wrong timing, either way beyond their time or way behind their time. Understand some businesses are created to serve specific purposes within specific time frames and vanish. I have had to give up on visions I thought will be life time, global projects. I have given up on a fumigation business, a restaurant with a global vision to outperform McDonalds, a decent paid employment after 3 years because they were no longer consistent with the future I was creating under God.

The successive giving up has led me to start a consulting firm. And today, my achievements vindicate my decision. If you find yourself running on an unverified conviction, then it just might be time to re-examine whether you should give up. Don’t persist in vain; consider what is necessary for you per time. This is where objectivity as a balance of hope and audacity comes in. it is what flashes the signal when it is give up time. It is therefore imperative we master the art of giving up as business men, workers, fathers, mothers, wives, husbands and students.

Knowing just when to give up maybe the determinant between failure and success, life and death. Before you give up though, audit. Go for counselling with those you trust, who have the spiritual, professional, experiential capacity to guide you. Check it; don’t just act without thinking it through.

Knowing when to give up and when to hold on is one very vital skill for your peace and balance in the New Year. THIS IS THE LIFE.

Posted on December 30, 2013, in Smooth-Life*Clinic* and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Dear Olakunle…..don’t  know how you do it but your program is almost drug like – addictive ( ko se ma ni, ko se ma gbo)….and the topics ever so apt! Thank you so much, may your wisdom never whiter.  Concerning today’s topic I was tempted  to disagree initially, but by the end of the program, a lot of my fears were allayed. Nonetheless,  I still humbly wish to add that while its okay to give up having tried all within ones intellectual, spiritual, financial and social wherewithal,  the option of giving up should however never be the first. I refer you to this page I read up on Abraham Lincoln the last sentence said “Never give up”. 

    Another story I would like to share, I got from Tyler Perry, in support of today’s topic, you probably have read it before…here it is all same; 

    Tyler Perry Producer · 10,135,615 Likes Options for this story TRUE STORY! A few years ago I was getting these really insane water bills. I mean HIGH! So I decided to dig some wells in my yard to have water for my landscape. I live alone, so I know it had to be from watering the grass. So I hired a company to come out and dig these wells. The foreman and I walked all around my yard and as we were walking he was putting down flags. I asked what the flags were for. He said, “The flags represent good places to dig for water.” I asked, “Why do you have so many flags?” He said, “I’m not sure if any of these places will produce water.” I said, “Hold up, you mean if you dig all these spots and don’t hit water I still have to pay you?” He said, “Yes, that’s how it goes.” I said, “Ok, fine.” Needless to say, he dug three wells and never hit water. I said, “Just stop.”   I got a few more extreme water bills and called him back. He said, “Are you sure?” I said, “Yes, keep drilling until you hit water.” The next well he dug he was down 500 feet and still didn’t hit any water. He asked if I wanted him to stop. I said, “Go deeper.” He dug down another 200 feet and still nothing. I said, “Go deeper.” He drilled another 200 feet and he hit rock. I said, “Blast it, cut it, do whatever you have to do but keep digging.” After fighting the rock and breaking his drill and getting a new one we got a little deeper. He said, “We are at 1,200 feet, why do you want me to keep going?” I said, “Cause I’m tired of these water bills and I’m going to do something about it.” He said, “But this is really deep.” I asked him if he had hit water yet. He said “no,” so I told him to go deeper. “But you don’t understand,” he said. “We don’t usually drill this deep, this is going to be expensive.” I told him that, “Sometimes you have to go deeper to get what you are after, no matter what the cost.” He started the machine and went down another four inches and hit a river of water. Just a few inches separated me from getting my breakthrough. That was five years ago and that well has never run dry.   In 2013 I want you to apply that to your life in all ways. Sometimes you will spend time on a thing and it will produce no water. Don’t be afraid to move on to another spot. YOU CAN’T HAVE FEAR. I don’t care how much time you put into it. If the well is dry MOVE ON! Nothing lives where there is no living water. Be it a relationship, a job, a business, don’t be afraid to move to another spot.   Now, on the other hand, if you are digging your well and you are sure that it is not only where you want to be but where God wants you to be, then keep digging in that same spot. Don’t stop digging until you hit a river of blessings. Don’t stop praying until you live in the change you’ve been waiting for. Don’t stop pushing until you deliver your breakthrough. Yes, it will get difficult. Yes, you may hit rock. Yes, there will be a cost. But when you get to what God is trying to get you to, YOU WILL RECOVER IT ALL! One of my favorite scriptures says that. “PURSUE AND YOU SHALL RECOVER IT ALL!”   Some people give up when they are only inches away!!   Happy New Year.   DDDDIIGGGGGG! People DIG!!!

    Thanks once again…..looking forward to tomrrow. If we are related…..

    olakunlesoriyan posted: “I am sure you have heard the cliché “Never Give up” from some motivational speakers or self-help charlatans seeking to rouse dissatisfied people into emotional frenzy so they can change and overcome their discouragement. As good as the ‘Never Give up’ pla”

  1. Pingback: When Giving Up Makes Sense by PK | Paul Shola Oguntade

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