Resist the unnecessary, and the necessary will always run towards you.

unnecessaryToday I have a reminder for everyone out there. See, you do not have time and energy for most of the things you think you have time for. Likewise, you actually do have time for most of the very things you think you do not have time for. It is always a matter of understanding the things that really matter and that deserve your attention and the things that do not. As simple as it sounds, I think it is about the greatest challenge of all mortal men and women. Now, understand this wisdom, the unnecessary will always give birth to the unnecessary; and only the necessary gives birth to the necessary. Our positive ruthlessness will demand that we make an irrevocable resolution that to do less than necessary is to be irresponsible, and to do more than necessary is to be wasteful. When we recognize that energy has a life span and that time is transient, we are careful how we dispense them.

I have been saying the unnecessary gives birth to the unnecessary, long before I understood it fully. If I have understood it fully, I would have set the sail of my priorities in more rewarding directions. I would have expended my energy on things that have direct impact on my destiny. I wouldn’t have fought many battles, which I fought in the name of being forthright; I would not have made many of the declarations I made in the name of being bold; I would not have chosen many of the friends I chose and gave myself to in the name of networking. I would not have made the enemies I made in the name of taking a stand.

Wow! Looking back, it was a great burden to my mind, measureless stress for my emotion and serious distraction to the destiny I thought I was defending. You drive yourself hard for what is not hard; you take tough stands on what you should ignore; and at the end of the day, in the name of defending principles, you narrow the reins of your mind, which God created to be very large and accommodating. Don’t get me wrong. Principles are always worth defending and I will do it for the rest of my life.

Now, the question I have asked myself in recent times is, is it every battle that is worth fighting? My honest answer is capital NO! I have found that many of the victories many gloat over are pyrrhic-victory in nature. Do you know what Pyrrhic victory is? Pyrrhic victory is a victory with such a devastating cost that it is tantamount to defeat. ‘Someone who wins a Pyrrhic battle has been victorious in some way; however, the cost of victory negates any sense of achievement or profit. The phrase is named after Greek King Pyrrhus of Epirus, whose army suffered irreplaceable casualties in defeating the Romans at Heraclea in 280 BC and Asculum in 279 BC during the Pyrrhic War. What is the wisdom in losing, and how different is it from winning when the cost of victory outweighs the joy of winning.

We must understand that there are friends, who come into our lives for a specific reason, some for a season and some for a life time. We must make it a duty we owe our destiny and relevance to first identify the nature of our friendships, identify and evaluate the necessary contributions and investment each of them deserve according to their carefully identified nomenclature and the necessary time to disengage. If we identify that a friend is for a specific reason, necessity demands that we stick to the specific reason. If we know that a friend is for a season, necessity demands that we stick to the season; and if we are sure that a friend is for a lifetime, necessity demands that we count the cost of involvement and supply same.

It is always unnecessary to overstay one’s welcome under any circumstance. Our dignity, honour and destiny deserve all the sacrifice of doing the necessary demands. I think for us to effectively do the foregoing, we must find the purpose of our lives for every engagement and also identify the required goals per time. Embracing the necessary brings sanity and order of priceless measures to you and all that is around. It saves you from unnecessary pressures and excess emotional luggage, for which you are paying heavily for today. Resist the unnecessary, and the necessary will always run towards you.

Posted on February 12, 2014, in Smooth-Life*Clinic* and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. This cannot be over emphasized. We all need to model the kind of relationship we want.

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