Refocusing your Paradigm—Moments are not Perfect; they are what you make them…(2)

refocusThe first mind-set I will address today is the one that drives you to spontaneously and automatedly hold tight to worries and fears. Someday when you look back over your life you’ll realize that nearly all of your worries and anxieties never came to fruition – they were completely unfounded. Most of the things we are afraid of never happen. But sustaining them in our minds is strong enough to hinder us from the best experiences nature has for us. Some people are so afraid of failing or losing that they will resist any investment in anything with a risky potential to lead to failure or loss. What they don’t know is that that mind-set in itself is a terrible loss and great failure. What most don’t know is that the feeling of fear or worry is even more dangerous than what they are afraid of or what they worry about.

When you look back over the last few years, how many opportunities for joy did you destroy with needless worry and negativity? Although there’s nothing you can do about these lost joys, there’s plenty you can do about the ones that are still to come. You will find that it’s necessary to let some things go simply for the reason that they’re heavy on your heart and soul. Talk to someone that can help you right now and clear your heart. Carrying too much worry and fear is like an athlete who wants to win 100meters gold medal at the Olympics and carries two travel bags filled with load on his neck for the race. He will run no doubt, but never fast enough to win the race. Let go of them. Don’t clamp shackles to your own ankles. It’s incredibly easy to enjoy more of your life right now, no matter the situation. It’s just a matter of letting go of the layers of nonsense that are weighing you down. Let go of your worries and fears, of your rage and jealousy, of your need to always be right and control others. Let go of your pretentiousness and your need to have everything your way. Underneath all these layers of nonsense, there is a happy, productive person. When you start peeling them off and simply appreciating everything for what it is, life can be wonderfully fulfilling.

The next mindset to work away from is the one that drives you to unnecessarily and overtly focus on difficulties. A bad day is just a bad day. Choose not to make it anything more. For most people in Africa, when they begin to have a bad day, they begin to wonder what type of power is against them diabolically…they want to know if it’s a witch or one conspiracy from their village. Meanwhile, their counterpart from the West or America is sitting down immediately to ask himself if something new is on the horizon or if he is done with a phase or season of life; are there new people he needs to meet, new projects to accept or new places to see or some personal rules or principles are outdated and unaligned with the demands of a possible next level? It’s all in our interpretations. But we live in an environment that uses spirituality as a consolation in defining helplessness. We live in an environment with a terrible culture that engages the feeling of helplessness as a therapy and interprets adversity as an attack from some source that cannot be resisted by human intervention or self-discipline.

Times of adversity will inevitably affect the conditions in which you live and work; yet you don’t have to let it affect who you are and where you’re headed. Trust me, each day brings new lessons and new possibilities; and they come through your positive as well as negative experiences. There is always a way to take the next step forward on the path you’ve chosen. Events may be terrible and inescapable at times, but you always have a choice about when and how you may endure and go forward. The best way to fight this is to focus on your prevailing value as well as the one you are capable of creating in the future. Enduring contentment in the present is the best way to manage this. The key is to focus on the gradual growth of your mind. Gradual growth of the mind sustains itself through learning; and critically, learning takes place through life’s ups and downs, because through them, you train your mind to remain confident and at peace.

I have accepted that only through challenges can our true opportunities emerge. People who lack the awareness of these automatically allow adversity to ruffle their mind into frenzy. There’s something in man that drives him to seek instant gratification. He wants the best things in life now, and cannot define its contentment without some form of material comfort, and as fast as possible. This is where most of the battle is lost. It’s a small game that hinders most people. The bigger game is to have the kind of inner tranquility and strength that helps you have the things you need through time, patience, energy deployment in the right direction and growth. When you jump up, you reach a particular height instantly, but no sooner that you get to that height, you come down immediately. Nature pulls you down through gravity. If you jump up, you come down. But when you grow up, you stay up. Let’s take it further from here! Your comments will be highly appreciated. Go!

Posted on April 2, 2014, in Smooth-Life*Clinic* and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. “The key is to focus on the gradual growth of your mind…” Our mind is the one tool we must engage to grow.

  2. True sir! The mind is meant to show us the way out of every mess in our lives; it can only achieve this if it is not dormant, and not worrying!! Great piece sir: a word in season.

    Haste, reduces planning, and reduced planning means increased chance of failure.


    Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN


    Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

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