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How essential is Knowledge in family building?

knowledge fo familyI have always said that Knowledge is a critical resource for victory at any level. Knowledge is the foundation of intelligence. And intelligence is required for any level of warfare regardless of the kind. Knowledge is more than important. It takes you beyond where you can ever imagine, it reduces your error rate, it keeps you safe and helps you maximize your greatest potential. Knowledge is the take off point of any kind of value. In the 2000s, knowledge is the essential tool for managing complexities. Because when complexities are intensified, there is always a greater and greater demand on knowledge. Equally, the greatest challenge of society is the family institution. And the family institution has suffered consistently all through history simply because the children of yesterday who lacked adequate upbringing are now the adults of today and will create the children of today and the adults of tomorrow, and the vicious cycle continues.

So, ignorance is the common ingredient all through generations. But note that this ignorance is not the ignorance of all things but the ignorance of key things. Just as we do not need a bunch of keys to open a door but the right key, so we do not need the knowledge of all things to organize the society. Instead, we need the knowledge of key things; and the family is key. The crisis of the family is the crisis of the nation and the crisis of the nation is the crisis of the family. And if there is any tool that weakens the potential to build great families, it is the place of correction. If you ask me, what is the one thing that if you can learn, can increase your capacity and potential for success in building a great family? What can increase your success potential by almost 70% as far as building a family is concerned? I believe the answer will be: correction. You see, misbehavior is a constant and error is nature. Perfect behaviour eludes humanity so much that even you as a full blown adult sometimes still misbehaves and makes clear mistakes. Our individual and collective peace must not; I repeat must not be tied to perfect behaviour since none of us can be perfect. If this is true, correction also becomes critical to manage a reality as constant as imperfect behaviour. If you lack the skill to administer correction, you will be miserable, frustrated and depressed.

All through history, families have never been destroyed until they get the correction skill wrong. Now, there is this terrible assumption that punishment is correction. Punishment is never correction. Correction is a skill while punishment is an imbalance in nature in that any fool can punish. You don’t need formal training to know how to punish, you only need to be born; but you need education and training for you to know how to correct; it is not a gift of nature. It is a skill that must be learnt. While everybody can sleep for example and anyone can determinedly wake up at a particular time, to perform surgery, you need more than determination. Determination without skill in the surgery theatre is murder…clean murder and an honest and sincere jail term. Determination to correct without skill in the home is a vice. The goal of punishment is to acknowledge your hurt and to share the pain of your hurt with the offender. It does not by any means transform. On the other hand, the goal of correction is to bring the offender to a human state of acknowledgement of error, remorse, and to govern behaviour in a way that transforms the offender and blesses both his immediate environment and society at large.

Studies have shown that over 90% of parents never correct in their lifetime, they only punish. The reason they don’t correct is simply that they don’t know how.. See, “The plaster should be no wider than the sore.” It’s as simple as that. Punishment never fits the offense and never governs behaviour. To achieve that, actions must be carefully thought out before they are stated or applied, and even then it will be necessary to modify and refine them as they are being used. That’s correction and that takes learning. In the following example, I illustrate how correction and consequences should be selected, applied, and enforced, and describe the principles of behaviour upon which the procedure is based.

Correction demands that we make the decision of whether we want to be right or we want to progress. Punishment underscores how right you are, but correction creates transformation and progress. Now, a 10-year-old boy has been leaving his bike lying in the driveway. His parents frequently have to stop their car, get out and move the bike, then get back in the car and drive into the garage. Not only is this annoying, but a less careful or alert driver might hit or run over the bike. A punisher will give the boy a piece of his mind, a good scolding, a heavy dose of logic, a spanking, and the pronouncement that “If I ever see that bike lying in the driveway again, you won’t see it for a month—if you ever see it again!”. See, this action is obviously worse behaviour than leaving the bike in the driveway.The better way is to decide in advance exactly what the boy is expected to do with his bike. This is correction. It might be as simple as having him put his bike on the lawn, against the house, beside the porch, or out of the way in the garage. This then becomes the expectation of the boy’s behavior. Knowing in advance the expectations of his behavior is fair and is of primary importance.

Next, the parents must decide how to state their expectation to the boy so he fully understands it, and can demonstrate that he understands it! This is best accomplished in a simulation or role playing exercise. But on this altar of punishment, families have been ruined, children wrongly programmed to become malfunctioning adults and society is always the victim. I hope i’ve helped a bit.

knowledge fo family

The 3D thinking posture for Africa’ socio-economic renaissance (pt.2)

analyzing informationI had mentioned in the first part that I believe our desire to see change and renaissance all over Africa may continue to be a mirage until we are able to make the kind of investments through self-improvements that can make a critical mass of our people to be the kind of person I want to talk about today. I want to introduce you to who you must be if you have to be a critical part of the change we seek. It doesn’t matter what you are trying to do. Whether you an entrepreneur, politician, career mogul, actor, police officer, military personnel, medical practitioner or social worker, no matter what you do, you must be this kind of individual or you will be part of those just mouthing change. Our situation as a people requires another kind of way we must apply ourselves to be able to see the solutions with the bearing to lift our societies and our people. The government can help here by making the right policy investments to ensure our educational system for example is churning out individuals in the 3D-EPSP bracket; but beyond the government, this is one thing that waiting for the government or anyone to do for you is a sincere crime against your personal development, effectiveness and relevance. To pass this buck or discount this responsibility is a self-defining-mediocre effort to keep yourself small and average. Nigeria needs you to be 3D-EPSP. Africa needs you to be 3D-EPSP. 3D-EPSP is an acronym for three dimensional effective problem solving people.

Today, I am dealing with these as thoroughly as I can and show how it works for our socio-economic and political realities both as a continent and as a people. If we can have a little less than 1% of our population across the nation and the larger continent to be able to function in the mold I described on in the first part of this piece, as well as the kind of posture I will describe today, it will not be very long before our genius and transformation will emerge.

See, our country and our continent is filled will problems of all kinds, known and unknown. As much as we think our known problems are, they are extremely few compared to our unknown problems. We cannot adequately cater for the masses of our people if a significant number of our population cannot provide solution to our known and most critically unknown problems, yet prevailing. We need people to function perpetually and simultaneously in three dimensions. In their first dimension, our people must be the kind of persons who through experience, training or talents have a very strong underlining psyche of perpetually expecting to identify loopholes in every existing structure, system, style, project, idea, etc, no matter how successful. No system can exist in its perfect state of existence. There is an incompleteness about everything existing today that allows those coming after to have something to do. The perfection of existence today will eliminate meaning, relevance and continuity tomorrow. If things can be perfect today, tomorrow’s people are unnecessary and the world will end now. It is our imperfections that drive our continuity. Since that is true, what is incomplete should not shock anyone. What is incomplete is a tool that must be engaged to create value about all things that define continuity for those coming after.

Anyone existing in the 1st dimension is the one who through experience, training or talents have a very strong underlining psyche of perpetually expecting to identify loopholes in every existing structure, system, style, project, idea, or what have you. That person will spot the incompleteness in everything. That person will spot the loophole and vacuum in everything. That person will somehow always be the one to spot the next level of everything. We need a significant number of our people in this dimension. Then, in the 2nd dimension, people will be able to function in the 1st dimension spotting loopholes, imperfections and problems both known and unknown, but are also then, by reason of use, sustain a RAPID RESPONSE MENTAL POSTURE (RRMP©) elastic enough to not only understand the problem they find in their 1st dimension but also design, build, and sustain solutions-blue prints to solve those problems. Also, with the RAPID RESPONSE MENTAL POSTURE (RRMP©) of their 2nd dimension, they are also able to solve problems they never saw before or and those never envisaged.

Then, in the third dimension, people have enough talent, skill sets or experience to dwarf problems of the type they have seen and consistently conquered before, between their 1st and 2nd dimensions; and to create templates for those coming after to be able to do the same. That’s legacy. 3D-EPSP will help Nigeria and the continent as a whole to produce the kind of people with the competency to bring to the market and to the world in general, a stream of new and improved, value added solutions, products and services that enable the institutions and organizations achieve higher margins and profits to re-invest in the system. 3D-EPSP is the strength of innovation. Innovation is the successful exploitation of new ideas. Incorporating new technologies, design and best practice is the key nation-building process that enables Asian, American and European organizations and institutions to compete effectively in the global environment. Modernization will require that you initiate methods in contrast to traditional, conventional, customary and established ones.

Our people will have to be believers and promoters of critical advancement and progress. We have to develop the propensity to keep changing something so that it is consistently suitable for modern needs or habits. We will have to learn to adopt and surpass modern ways or ideas. There will have to be a modernization program or culture in our individual and collective operations. This is 3D-EPSP—The ability to try new things, do new things, and find new needs, new knowledge, new solutions…new things! Newness is the strength of innovation and that’s what 3D-EPSP delivers. It helps you to expect, seek embrace and initiate change. It helps you to Alter, Modify, Transform, Revolutionize, Amend, See and Seize opportunities, Experiment. Do something. If one fails, try another. Adjust. Move. Act. A spirited, vigorous, forceful, energetic and hearty response to unexpected opportunities or specific customer problems creates variation and consequently, innovation. That’s 3D-EPSP. And that who you must be. That’s who your family members must be. That’s the people your organization must hire. That’s those we need all over the continent. May our people see. God bless Nigeria. God bless Africa.

The 3D thinking posture for Africa’ socio-economic renaissance (pt.1)

analyzing informationI believe our desire to see change and renaissance all over Africa may continue to be a mirage until we are able to make the kind of investments through self-improvements that can make a critical mass of our people to be the kind of person I want to talk about today. I can forgive if anyone above forty decides to ignore this reality. I am above 40 and I’ve worked to be the kind of person I’m describing and I’m consistently making efforts and investments to be more of such as person. It is the most critical way I define my individual effectiveness. So, anyone from age 40 below must not be forgiven if they will not make the effort to be this kind of person. I believe every African from age 40 below should be able to demonstrate these as almost nature. And the human mind can be trained to do so. I call it the 3D-Thinking Posture (The three-dimensional thinking posture).

The first dimension is: Pursuing information. Pursuing information is critical for the human soul anywhere. It means simply developing an almost natural propensity to always expect that there is always something new in the horizon that must be discovered. Believing permanently that there must always be some new lead, a new evolving market, some new technology, and new appointment that can be leveraged on. To not be ready to find or to not have found or discovered something new in this view is to be out of place in a brain powered world. It’s not just about being in tune with the trends but to psychologically develop a habitual mindset that something worth leveraging on is always on the horizon that you can discern, you can engage, and can use.

Moving on with this mindset is what necessitates the next dimension of thinking which is to gather information. This is not just putting pieces of gist and myths together. No! It is more of creating a culture of fact finding characterized by my acronym: M.O.D (modernization, originality, development). An individual, nation or company that places little or no premium on research and development is actually primitive and definitely not globally compliant. Please note that by R&D, we are not just talking about research; and not just about development but really about the extent to which we can use study, observations and interpretations to create, establish and sustain development. The individual should create a special time out of his busy schedule dedicated strictly for looking for useable, transferable and reward-able knowledge in the area of our greatest desires or dreams. Companies, regardless of size, must be seen to be placing a very high premium on recruiting resourceful knowledge professionals to help chart new courses for the organization through fact-finding and research. An entire department or unit may have to be created and sustained to properly maximize this or fact-finding tasks can be given to all units quarterly or something! The benefits are overwhelming as it helps; among other things to be adequately prepared with just in time response methodologies to rise above and take advantage of the intricacies of an increasingly unpredictable marketplace, stay ahead of the competition and in the long-run, create a platform for an industry-leader-status. We must do this or we will fail in our capacity to deliver continuous relevance.

The third dimension is Analyzing and Using Information and Data. Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is information applied. While so much knowledge is available in our time, very little knowledge prevails. The goal of knowledge is transformation and whatever is known that governs not behavior and that does not inspire change, is mere information. But often times, the most credible pathway to knowledge are either divine revelation or analyzing and using information. But even divine revelation rarely comes to all. No. Most of the time it only goes to the mind functioning in the first and second dimension mentioned earlier. Whichever way, after the first and second dimensions, at any level, divine or researched knowledge, all next level seeking minds and all innovative efforts must come down to Analyzing and Using Information. This is simply about determining COAs (courses of actions).

Pursuing and gathering information will be pointless if you are not going to use the consequent result to chart necessary causes of action. All findings must be maximally used as processed tools for the good building solution blue-prints that can become products and services with amazing impact on GDP and per capita income as well as build incredible purchasing power for the masses of the people. These all comes to developing a mental posture that solves problems easily and quickly. The strength of the global economy is being able to predict needs before those with the needs are even aware. It is also been able to respond to situations and challenges at a moment’s notice. It is about been nimble and dexterous to solve problems at the speed of their arrival. I’ve gone through a thorough analysis of the fact that a brain powered economy enthrones knowledge and its maximal use as a critical success factor. And the strength of that is being able to develop and sustain a 3D-Thinking Posture.

In fractionalizing this, we now have to look at making problem solving a critical factor in the pursuit of profit growth. By this I’m not referring to some “motivational-see-no-problem-see-no-future model”. I am describing another three dimensional problem solving mode that begins with ensuring that you are first of all, very good at solving problems. Then that in all that you represent as an individual or a corporate entity, in your daily exertions and pursuit of meaning as a person, your hiring, evaluations and reviews as a business, you must be also able to retain employees, consultants, service providers to your firm, etc, who are very good at solving problems. However, this is never enough. Watch out for the concluding part!

 

JULY ‘LIFE PURPOSE CLINIC’

” The JULY ‘LIFE PURPOSE CLINIC’ is around the corner! Don’t miss this opportunity to attend and gain the knowledge that will advance and pace you on your journey. Join Olakunle and Tiwalade Soriyan on Saturday 12th of July 2014 by 9am as they share and reveal to you the secret ingredients you need to truly live a fulfilling and purposeful life. Attendance is free but strictly by registration. To register and book a seat, visit http://www.olakunlesoriyan.com/revamped/life-purpose-clinic/

Here are Six Thoughts to Consider for a Healthy Marriage you Desire…

marriage newThe wisdom in human exchange is to understand that all relationships require work. Peace has a price. And prejudice has a cost. But those who must see and experience value must know that harmony and cohesion does not just occur. They take time, patience, and two people who are willing to put in the effort. Today, I want to share the things I believe your marriage and your family needs from you. Note that I’m not talking to a couple now. No. I’m talking to you alone. You are enough to create a turnaround in your home. I’m talking to you as the husband or the wife. Then, I’m also talking to those hoping to occupy either of these two offices soon. I’m talking to you alone.

Victory is personal, and once your part is played, you have the right to expect the energy of life to reorganize situations and circumstances to begin to work in the direction of your dominant expectations. It’s nature. It’s the design of life, and it works. For me, these things are debts that you owe. In the best marriage, pain and disappointments do exist, but a resolve must also exist such that no matter how demanding it is, you will also focus more on the parts of it that bring joy, meaning and fulfillment.

Top on the list of what you owe your marriage is ATTENTION. You owe your relationships, and indeed your marriage and your family the attention their individuality deserves. Attention by the way is the creative and passionate use of your time, energy and resources in the direction of those you consider valuable. And neglect based on lack of attention damages marriages far more often than malicious abuse. There’s nothing more vital to the bond you share with your spouse than simply being there.When we pay attention to each other, we breathe new life into each other. With frequent attention and affection,marriages flourish, and the individuals grow stronger.  This is the side effect of a good relationship – we help heal each other’s wounds and support each other’s strengths.Marriage is worth the extra effort. And it’s wise not to wait for your spouse to do what you like before you share your time, energy and resources.

Next is TRUST.The entire fabric of our society – people working, living and breathing together – relies on the positive beliefs we have about each other – a subtle, inherent trust. This trust is the glue that holds every peaceful civilization together. Which is why trust is the greatest compliment you can give a person.The only way to build this trust, or find out if someone is trustworthy, is to trust them.  When you do this in marriage, without a doubt, you’ll automatically get two results:  A friend for life or a lesson for life.  Either way, the outcome is positive.

Next is HONESTY. When your intentions are good and your cause is just, honesty will always help you.  When your heart is open to love and truth, your lips will not utter lies that haunt you. When couples are honest with each other up front, the truth may hurt sooner, but the suffering always dies faster, and out of this suffering comes growth and blessings.Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want in a marriage and how you want to be treated. The bottom line is that marriages don’t hurt. Lying, cheating and twisting reality until it screws with someone’s emotions is what hurts. Never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of your own. If you are unsure in any way, be sure to say so. Always be open and honest.

Next is LOYALTY. Stand by those you care about in their darkest moments. Brave the shadows alongside them until they’re able to find the light. You can’t promise to be there for someone for the rest of their life, but you can sincerely be there for them for the rest of yours. When it comes to marriage, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority.

Next is TEAMWORK. The most important trip you will ever take in life is meeting others half way.  You will achieve far more by working with people, rather than working alone or against them.That’s what healthy relationships are all about – teamwork.  The strength of every marriage depends on the strength of its members, and the strength of each member depends on the quality of their relationships.Anyone who helps you to make your half-hearted attempts more whole-hearted through passion, love and teamwork, is a precious friend and teacher. You can be such a person for your spouse. Connect with him or her, and conquer the world together. This is a great gift in marriage.

Next is ACCEPTANCE. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Even if it seems perfect now, it won’t always be.  Imperfection, however, is real and beautiful.  It’s how two people accept and deal with the imperfections of a relationship that make it ideal.Since perfect behaviour does not exist in any human, our best love cannot and must not be earned by perfect behaviour. The quality of the happiness between two people grows in direct proportion to their acceptance, and in inverse proportion to their intolerance and expectations. They must appreciate their similarities and respect their differences. Then, Forgiveness is one of the greatest virtues to which you should always seek. Imagine if everyone you knew was willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that you all would not be able to solve?The willingness to admit that we are all human, and to forgive sincerely, is a sign of your emotional strength and maturity.  Ultimately, this forgiveness is for you.  It sets you free from the shackles of the past so you can take the future in stride.If it is true that not one of us is perfect, then ignoring to forgive must be a silly choice. All I have shared here is nature. It’s the design of life, and it works.

Finally, I want you to know that after over a decade of marriage, my best lessons are that God is faithful, love is a choice, peace is always within reach and marriage is science. I hope I’ve helped a bit. I wish you well. I wish your marriage well. Stay rooted…

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